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Like the weather here, I am just tired, depressed and just want to sleep my misery away! And I hate it that I have to much to think and Im tired of thinking. Im tired of the doubt. Im tired of crying as my heart feels like its been torn into a million pieces.
I afraid to talk to him now since I've been warned by one friend that he might just be using me while my sister tells me to just not talk or see him for awhile. And it hurts me so freaking much! The last time I've seen him it was three months ago and I rarely hear from him. And when I do it barely last 15 minutes...on most days. Rarely are we on the phone for longer. And even though hearing his voice makes me smile and feel happy, the second the convo ends is the second I feel like crying.
How!? How can I stop talking to him? Should I stop talking to him? But can I really do that to him...to us??
- Mood:
stressed
Come to me when I'm sleep,
take your hand and gently stork my cheek,
make me feel like I'm flying as you sweep me off my feet.
I want to be near you again with my cheek on your shoulder.
Missing the warmth we shared as you laid in my bed.
Missing the way you looked as you slept in each others arms.
Come to me when I sleep,
Smooth away the tears of fear, tears of doubt, and tears of regret.
Show me that we did right by being together.
I miss your smile, I miss your laughter
But most of all I missed determination that would light your eyes.
You always looked so happy when you worked and I would giggle with glee
When I sleep I try to picture you here with me
I hold your jacket dearly wanting you near
I try to dream but the dreams are to far and in between
So come to me when I sleep then gently wake me
And show me that what I'm dreaming isn't a dream anymore
As you look at me with a smile that makes me want to love you forever!
take your hand and gently stork my cheek,
make me feel like I'm flying as you sweep me off my feet.
I want to be near you again with my cheek on your shoulder.
Missing the warmth we shared as you laid in my bed.
Missing the way you looked as you slept in each others arms.
Come to me when I sleep,
Smooth away the tears of fear, tears of doubt, and tears of regret.
Show me that we did right by being together.
I miss your smile, I miss your laughter
But most of all I missed determination that would light your eyes.
You always looked so happy when you worked and I would giggle with glee
When I sleep I try to picture you here with me
I hold your jacket dearly wanting you near
I try to dream but the dreams are to far and in between
So come to me when I sleep then gently wake me
And show me that what I'm dreaming isn't a dream anymore
As you look at me with a smile that makes me want to love you forever!
- Mood:
melancholy
Right now I wish him the best and hope he chooses the right thing for him. And I pray for him always because he's such a great man. Tring his hardest to find the best job so that he can get his son and daughter back. And I've seen him with his daughter and his such a great father. Every time I think about it I smile wishing for a family such has that for I never had one.
For now, I'll just wait on the side lines......way on the side lines and wait for him to decied on what he wants. And if just comes to the point were he doesn't need me anymore...then I"ll just slowly turn away and hope for the best between us.
- Location:in my room
- Mood:
regretful
For now I guess I'll just wait till I feel the embrace then let the love and devotion wash away the frustration and doubt. For now I'll just close my eyes and will my spirit to try and be patent, be strong and have the strangth to hang on. I just wish I had more help with it all. More help to keep my emotions in check. More help to keep my mind at ease as it wanders.
- Location:in my room
- Mood:
thoughtful
