I really don't know how much longer I can handle all the stress I've been going through. I feel as though everything is against me and there is no more positive to the situaition. I wish that my sister and my friends would just...-sighs- I don't know...I really don't know what I want them to do anymore.

Like the weather here, I am just tired, depressed and just want to sleep my misery away! And I hate it that I have to much to think and Im tired of thinking. Im tired of the doubt. Im tired of crying as my heart feels like its been torn into a million pieces.

I afraid to talk to him now since I've been warned by one friend that he might just be using me while my sister tells me to just not talk or see him for awhile. And it hurts me so freaking much! The last time I've seen him it was three months ago and I rarely hear from him. And when I do it barely last 15 minutes...on most days. Rarely are we on the phone for longer. And even though hearing his voice makes me smile and feel happy, the second the convo ends is the second I feel like crying.

How!? How can I stop talking to him? Should I stop talking to him? But can I really do that to him...to us??